ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
