Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
