So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
