The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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