What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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