I feel great
I just peed on a car
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
