There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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