I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
