can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I need water and some morals
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
