I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
