It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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