there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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