Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
