I just made out with a guy for $7.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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