Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
