just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
