I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
