I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
