I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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