I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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