Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am mentally ready for anal.
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