in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
