I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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