i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
