grandma shit on top of the toilet
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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