Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
