I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
