I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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