their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
