i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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