I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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