A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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