thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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