at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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