Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its not stalking. its research.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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