i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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