i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They took my balls.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
