Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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