That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
