Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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