READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
