i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is not my ceiling
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
