Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are two peas in an std pod
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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