Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
