i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
