I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Screwed.edu
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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