Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He felt like a one man threesome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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