how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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