meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
