There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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