Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
