Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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