I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
