yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
